Strong is What We Make Each Other
At Yoga Oasis. Tucson, AZ
Note to reader- This is the third installment in a series on strength, based on a letter a student of mine wrote me. The second installment is Physical Strength is Not Physical Only.
The definitions of strength continue with a reference to the influence or power possessed by a person, organization or country. This layer of meaning takes us decidedly away from strength as physical-only. And while I think this particular definition could refer to strength in terms of politics— such as one party being stronger than the other or the strength of a given lobby to buy votes, I think for the purposes of recovery and growth, we might consider how much strength there can be in good company and supportive community.
I recently spent the weekend in Tucson, Arizona teaching with my long-time friend and mentor, Mary Angelon Young. We called the course Waking Up to Wisdom and used the goddess Sophia as a guiding principle for our considerations. Twenty amazing women were in attendance, many of whom I have know for over a decade and some with whom I have been practicing over twenty years. Talk about a circle of strong women— we were a group of articulate, funny, sincere, artistic, seasoned practitioners and teachers.
When I sat down to open the circle, I felt agitated. I didn’t know exactly how to begin or what I should say, so I was making bad jokes and stalling. Once I recognized my behavior, I told the group that I needed a few moments to settle. I asked for their support to sit quietly with me for a few moments so that I could gather myself and so that we could gather as a group more consciously. As I sat, tears welled up from within— gratitude, grief, relief, and a recognition of the power, or strength, of the group that had come together.
Years ago, meditation teacher, Paul Muller-Ortega spoke at an Anusara® yoga teacher’s gathering. He opened the session saying, “Consciousness, which tends to contract, expands when two or more people are gathered with the shared intention of transformation.” That assertion is precisely what I felt in Tucson and is what I believe lives at the heart of our shared practices in yoga classes and workshops, 12-step groups, women’s circles, church services, fire ceremonies, psychotherapy, and so on. Sitting down in that circle, my consciousness was contracted in anxiety, worry, excitement, and travel-induced vata-derangement. When I asked for the help and support of the group, took my place inside the circle and inside myself, my consciousness expanded toward greater softness, tenderness, and a more authentic recognition of the emotions that were rocking around underneath the surface of my awareness.
But the paradox is that the strength the group gave me allowed me to be softer, not harder. Strength didn’t look like supreme confidence, having it all together, or knowing all the answers. The strength of the group held something up for me so that the edifices of personality, the contractions caused by my feelings of not-enough-ness in all its guises, could come down. Strength of the group allowed for vulnerability. Trust in the safety of the circle and the long-time connections I had with many of the women allowed me to feel the sweet strength of spirit that lives in authenticity— whether the authentic moment is joyful, sorrowful, awkward, or delightful.
It might be that sometimes fierceness is required and your people will help you rally in fiery ways. Boundaries need to be set, battles worth fighting need to be fought, and tough conversations are well, tough. That being said, there is strength in the full-spectrum of life, in the full range of feelings and expressions. And, like I so often say, no one can do the work for us, but we can not do it alone. Strong is what we make each other.
Keep the faith. More soon.
(Note—Strong is what we make each other is a line from a great Marge Piercy poem which was pretty much a manifesto for me from the time I was twenty until I was thirty.)
And, in the shameless promotions department—
Mary Angelon are launching another online course in January. This is gonna be a good one. I mean, they are all good, but we are going to work with Goddesses from many traditions and bring them to life through story, song, writing, and sharing.
Bringing the Goddess to Life
Online Sessions with Christina Sell and Mary Angelon Young
Inspiring images of the goddess from around the world are not merely flat characters from a different time and place; they are living, breathing sources of spiritual power, wisdom and transformation that exist within us. How do we make use of this truth to guide our daily, down-on-the-ground experience in changing times of uncertainty, when our humanity is so profoundly challenged?
This nine-week course is designed as an experiential exploration of the universal motifs of the divine feminine in goddess archetypes from Celtic, Indian, Egyptian and Greco-Roman traditions. Through story, song, writing, and heart-felt group conversation, we bring their qualities to life and hone an authentic understanding—unique to each of us—of the potency of feminine wisdom in our everyday circumstances.
Christina and Mary Angelon, both known for their intelligent, grounded, and heartfelt teaching styles, will present lessons each week to guide your inquiry while holding a space for self-study, sharing, and exploration within a safe container of fellow travelers on the path of wisdom.
Wednesdays, January 5- March 2
4:00-5:15 PST
Tuition- $250
Live attendance is respectfully requested whenever possible to facilitate a supportive group experience. All sessions are recorded for ongoing reference and for make up classes. Q&A forum for community-building and sharing between sessions is also provided.
