figure the muse comes. Not a muse like some fantasy fairy-tale figure clad in billowy robes and singing words of poetry from the heavens full of wit, wisdom, and pithy tales of transcendent glory. Perhaps this muse might best be described as interest and then, curiosity. Perhaps this muse is a clarity of awareness with a dose of absorption that allows for time to warp, deep knowing to emerge, and creativity to arise within the structured form of the practice itself. I figure at some point his practice must have stopped being about the ten thousand things to do to improve the poses and became about meeting the muse.

My days at home have settled into a predictable rhythm of morning meditation and self-care rituals, a dog walk in nature or the neighborhood, office hours with unprecedented amounts of screen time, a daily asana practice, evening meditation, and then dinner and time with Kelly. Of course, predictability during a pandemic is a bit of a moving target. I contemplate groundlessness quite a bit in my sadhana, so I am no stranger to the idea that life is never as certain as it seems, but, as my 12-stepping friend told me the other day, “Christina, this shit is a next-level lesson in powerlessness.”

Truth be told, the term “mental health” doesn’t quite capture the essence of what I have come to experience as recovery or health. In fact, while I am telling the truth, I might also add that the term “mental health” gets my hackles up a bit, triggering a sense that I am somehow flawed or mentally deficient for struggling to live authentically in a world that rewards falsity, for needing help to manage pain in a world that values numbing out, and for not being able to “think myself into a new perspective.”

Each week, we use a topic from one of the chapters in my latest book, A Deeper Yoga as a springboard for discussion and commentary. Shortly after we released our first few episodes, the realities of Covid-19 hit and we recorded additional Covid-19-centered bonus episodes. Our conversations range from studentship to community, from self-compassion to white fragility, from suffering, addictions, and cultural imperatives to faith, wholeness and dogs as perfect beings.